"My Lord is a Stone"《我家君王是石头》Chapter 8

T/N: Happy holidays everyone! Here's an early gift o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

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The emperor woke to the smell of food, he breathed in through his nose, he couldn’t help think…this time what dish was made? The evening meal at the palace was exquisite delicacy, not just it’s smell, just it’s appearance was so beautiful that he couldn’t bear to lower the chopsticks, but just like this he however felt no appetite, only quickly eating two pieces of cured meat, that was still because he had eaten it when he changed into a stone yesterday night, unexpectedly eating it at the palace it was insipid.

It was still pitch-black all around, the emperor rather depressed, he never thought after one day she still had not let him out, jumped about in hatred.

“Ai, little thing, you’re awake?”

Little thing…, the emperor almost did not stifle his breath, merely thinking of his plan it was better for him to be prepared to endure it, in fact he also felt somewhat baffled, in the past he wasn’t so bad that he would be unable to remain calm like this because of someone’s words, but after turning into a stone if seems like he got hungry more easily, and somewhat unable to control his temper, like a person returning to the sincere mood of their former youth.

The emperor’s heart took a moment to settle, then did he open his mouth to say, “Let me out.”

Zhao Jin Yu said, “I can let you out, but you must earnestly and sincerely give me an apology.”

“Outrageous!”

“Hey, you’re still so daring…, that manner of yours is really like a lord emperor.” Zhao Jin Yu unconsciously thought when that stone opened its mouth just now sounded like an emperor, again very quickly shaking her head saying, “That said could you may be not a stone spirit, rather a soul of a certain emperor? Because the Yang energy is too great during the day therefore you can’t enter this body, only appearing in this body at night?” This was how it could be understood why it could only be alive during the night.

Before the stone had called itself using the imperial we, but at that time it was nosy and in disarray, Zhao Jin Yu also did not pay much notice, now in the dead of night, as there was no miscellaneous task bothering her, he started to carefully investigate.

As for why her brain thought the stone was a certain emperor’s soul from a previous dynasty, that can only be because before she time travelled she had read too many mysterious fantasy novels, = =.

As to why she didn’t think it was the current emperor, this is also very obvious…, if it was the current emperor turned into a stone, wouldn’t the capital already be in an uproar? A few days before she had heard Wen Shi say, the emperor’s temper was explosive recently, if the chancellors were slightly careless with their words they would be ordered out by the emperor to be beaten, since after emperor Wuling ascended the throne, several more courageous and strong palace eunuchs were outside the Hall of Supreme Harmony[1] for morning court, they were all palace eunuchs for punishment, so long as they angered the emperor they would be dragged out to be beaten, the emperor would also not kill you, demote your official positions, just beat you on the white marble steps outside the Hall of Supreme Harmony in front of hundreds of officers and me, sometimes your trousers would also be pulled down…, this was in fact more painful than being killed, an old imperial secretaries could not bear such humiliation, running into a pillar to commit suicide, following this many people one after another copied him, using death to make a stand, for a time every day there were traces of blood on those steps, unable to be cleaned by washing, unfortunately the emperor was not moved at all.

“Impudent!” The emperor thought, what lost soul, we are the current emperor, but these words could only be stifled in his thoughts, regardless if this girl believes or not, even if she believed him…, ignoring the fact that before she had despised him, and locked him up in a black lacquered jewellery box, would she agree to deliver it back to the palace? Not worried he would look into punishing her?

Thinking up to here, the emperor laughed grimly twice, maybe the idiot would agree, if he really could prove he was the emperor, the first thing this girl would do is take him onto the grindstone outside to crush him, then everything would be completely over.

Therefore it wasn’t possible for him to reveal anything about his identity, in short the crucial point is to first coax her, he truly was fed up with waking up every day in this lousy house!

In this moment the emperor simply forgot he had previously asked Qin Hong how to coax a woman’s heart, because no matter what he could not let go of his honourable arrogance.

“No…” The emperor arrogantly humph through his nose.

“Then why do you call yourself the imperial we? Could it be you and the emperor have some sort of certain connection?” Zhao Jin Yu unconsciously started to imagine in her head, perhaps this stone is an object that the emperor plays with? After a long time it became a spirit?

The emperor had a break through, thinking he couldn’t allow the girl in front of him to continue guessing at random, voluntarily saying, “We...are, the emperor among stones, naturally I would call myself using the imperial we.” This sort of identity would go as far as to not allow the girl in front of him to look down upon it, and he can keep his majestic presence, the emperor felt this reason was very good, even if he apologised, the emperor would still not lose his pride. “Since you know our identity, you still won’t let us out?”

Zhao Jin Yu was rather astonished, but very quickly she regained her calm, smiling she said, “Even the emperor’s father has to be reasonable right? You sneakily ate my food you need to first apologise!” Without rules, nothing can be done, even though she didn’t hate this little thing, but she also could not indulge it to do whatever it pleased.

The emperor suppressing his anger issued a vicious clamouring hum knocking against the surface, causing the jewellery box to shake violently, thinking in his mind, reasonable? What nonsense! In the Hanzhen dynasty our words were reason!

Although the emperor spoke maliciously, he himself thought he was very formidable and aggressive, but in fact he tone right now was…, even though he was angry it still had some overtone of a spoiled child, Zhao Jin Yu nearly melted from that soft and sweet voice, but she maintained her view, pushing the fragrant dish of spare ribs stewed with potato towards the jewellery box slightly, with an enticing voice she said, “Tonight I made spare ribs stewed with potato, smell if it’s nice or not, if you admit you wronged, I can think about allowing you to try it.”

The emperor thought about it, using this lousy thing to coax us? If he really couldn’t resist it, wouldn’t it make those chefs of the imperial kitchen who take great pains to cook be so ashamed to commit suicide? Who would have imagined when the smell of that food flooded his nose, saliva flowed unstoppable like running water, he disappointingly swallowed with a `gudong` sound.

Afterwards…, the emperor’s face reddened.

Zhao Jin Yu heard it and could not help laugh, looking extremely happy.

“Shut up!”

The emperor again darkened, angry, he felt changing into a stone he was more and more strange, it was very hard to control himself, unexpectedly some urgency was felt in his heart, wanting to hurriedly break away from this situation, muttering to himself irresolutely somewhat stammering he said, “So long as we admit we were wrong, you will let us out?”

“Of course.”

The emperor closed his eyes, heartlessly, lowly saying, “I’m sorry.”

“And?”

“What else?” The emperor almost roared out.

Zhao Jin Yu remained unmoved, knocking on the jewellery box, shaking the emperor unsteadily from side to side, displaying her own power, then warningly said, “You need to say, I shouldn’t steal your food, I’m sorry, and I won’t do it again, then is the sentence complete.”

“I shouldn’t steal your…food, I’m…sorry, and I won’t do it again.” Such a simple sentence but it almost took a quarter of an hour for the emperor to say with the hesitation, finished speaking a murderous intent filled his eyes, but thinking of his body right now, he was forced to resist it, saying with malicious resentment, “We said it, you still won’t let us out?”

Zhao Jin Yu also knew not to push him too much, smiling she opened the box, then took the stone out, with a somewhat forgiving mind she put it to her lips and kissed it, saying, “Fine, little thing, don’t be angry, from now on if you listen to me I won’t punish you.”

The girl’s soft lips lightly like butterfly wings touched the stone’s surface, nevertheless that fragrance assailed his nostrils, the spoilt feeling wrapped around it. The emperor looked distracted, his heart unconsciously pounded, his mouth however said, “Do you actually have any sense of honour?” His soft and sweet voice rather than criticising, Zhao Jin Yu however heard it as more of a display of arrogance.

“You can’t oh.” Zhao Jin Yu held the stone in her palm, earnestly gazing at it, “little thing, you can’t scold people like this as you wish oh.”

“You did it yet you won’t let allow someone to tell you off?” Even though the emperor manner was unyielding towards Zhao Jin Yu, but a warmth emitted from his eyes, not knowing why his tone was somewhat a bit lower.

Zhao Jin Yu naturally felt it, beaming she stroked the stone, saying, “This is just a way of expressing fondness.”

In truth in Zhao Jin Yu’s eyes the stone’s body was only a little bit bigger than a quail egg, and the soft and sweet voice, gluttonous personality, it really provoked tenderness, speaking frankly she treated this stone like a pet, so it was hard to hold avoid some indulgence and tolerance in her manner and tone.

However the emperor did not think like this, in his eyes the girl in front of him had turned into a frivolous and wanton person.

Lighting the underground heating, it was nice and warm inside the house, Zhao Jin Yu only wore a light waist length light green thin little jacket, black hair tied in a loose braid behind her back, exposing her fair and round earlobe, very much dressed as she wished, so much that it was not refined, but the emperor’s gaze was nevertheless involuntarily placed on Zhao Jin Yu’s perky roundness.

However it wasn’t because he was indecent, it was mainly because as Zhao Jin Yu asked him if he was cold or not, she was using both hands to push him against her chest, the cleavage of her unimaginably soft chest was in this way pushing against his body which had turned into a stone…, he secretly cursed in his mind giddily, his heart however uncontrollably pitter pattered.

“Little thing, even though you are older than me, but having just transformed you can speak?” Zhao Jin Yu gently placed the stone on a table, originally the house was filled with tables, dressing tables, long tables, narrow beds, all were chopped down by her to burn as firewood, now only this table for eating was left, “since you say you’re the emperor of stones, then you ought to be very well respected, how can you just be an ordinary Yuhua stone?”

The emperor couldn’t hold his anger, saying, “We are the most respected stone!”

Zhao Jin Yu couldn’t help smile, while she spoke she picked out food from the dish, the spare ribs had been given by Wen Shi in the early morning, even though all along she said she had bought too much for her family to finish, but seeing that guilty expression she knew, this sadly was especially bought to give her to control her fright, Wen Shi was always good-natured, she imagined when she went home yesterday evening she found it very difficult to bear.

Thus after a few polite words she accepted the things, a lot of grateful words said paled in comparison, she would remember this kind intention of Wen Shi, and place it in her heart.

Zhao Jin Yu finished dishing out the food, asking, “How do you want to eat it? Still stand in the bowl?” Truthfully she had already been curious from an earlier time how the stone ate, that’s why she was in quite high spirit when asking.

The emperor hmphed, “Give us a bath.”

Zhao Jin Yu with a good temperament used her chopsticks to place the emperor into plain boiled water whishing it about, the emperor being squeezed by chopsticks yelled in hatred, “Outrageous, what are you actually doing?”

“I’m sorry, these are the circumstances here.”

The emperor’s chest moved up and down, incessantly speaking to himself, enduring it, it would soon pass, but just like this he still felt his anger shake his body, Zhao Jin Yu chuckled and smiled, only thinking this stone was indeed amusing, in order to complement, taking a clean handkerchief, gently she help the stone and carefully wiped the waterdrops, saying, “Don’t be angry now, I’ll wipe you dry, I’ve been reluctant to use this handkerchief, it’s made of silk.”

The emperor gloomily thought, the materials used inside the palace were imperial quality, only under 

Zhao Jin Yu’s tender care did his anger lower quite a lot.

Zhao Jin Yu softly placed the stone into the bowl, blinking in expectation, “Eat.”

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[1] The central pavilion of the Forbidden City.